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As nobody knows nor cares. I (Rick Glaser) officially live in the section of the world called Panama.

Why?

Well there are a few terrible reasons.

1. Low cost of living
2. Low cost of beer
3. Low cost of transit

I enjoy a fully furnished (1st world style) apartment with all the bells and whistles for $500 per month. If you compare this to apartments in Troy, NY than that would mean I would live in the hood. Well first world hood.

Sidenote: I once told a girl from Colon, Panama that my bedroom in NY was “ghetto”. She told me that I don’t know what is ghetto. I looked at her, and agreed.

Back on track:

Beer at the bar will run around $1 a pop if you go to a classier place. I duz it classy.

Transportation. Well, if you have the heart of a lion, you can pay $1.45 and take a bus from Boquete (Gringoville) to David (Where its fun). The bus system is great. They are all privately owned buses (See Capitalism), and they are in a race to pick up the next person. In my next life I would like to be the fanny pack change distributor. He has a pretty kick ass job, and gets to live on the edge.

How does he get to live on the edge?

The last bus that I took was on a Friday night, and was the last bus from Boquete to David. I pretended to make a few calls and check my blackberry as I waited for cheap transit (See N**** Rich).

Finally the bus arrived…

I jumped in the bus and we slowly started to take off. At this point there is no way I can tell them that I am a sissy and I would like to rethink my current health risks of being on this bus. So we continued to move and I made my way to……well the door. I was standing on the bottom platform with one hand on the railing, as everyone else was packed in. This is the one time I can say that I was shaking like a queer eating a hotdog. True Story.

This great experience lasted for about 20 minutes. This was 3 stops later, and about 10 people off the bus until I could lean on the bus driver. I could tell he has been working all day because his cologne was supposed to last from 9-5 and it was 7:30.

Sidenote: Brut cologne sucks. If you currently own Brut, you must be a Panamanian bus driver.

So to top everything off, if you are daring and want to be a part of the community, jump on the bus. I should note that the bus is not always like Pakistan, and it can be really funny sometimes. House music, drunk people, short people, people that stare, its all an experience.

For those who are wondering, the last bus from Boquete to David was at 7:30pm and be careful.